Rock-a-Bye Realities: A New Dad’s Experience

When we found out that my wife Abi was pregnant, we were overjoyed. We had prayed hard for a baby and were so excited to receive such happy news. I was very happy when we found out she was pregnant, but admittedly I was nervous. Many thoughts filled my head; what would I be like as a father? Would I be able to protect my family if they needed it? What would our child be like? So many overwhelming “what-ifs”. I would imagine that is the case for many first-time fathers.

This will sound silly, but at the time, I didn’t even consider the possibility that we would have a daughter. I come from a family of all boys, and so do many generations of Fitzgeralds before me, so when we found out we were having a baby, I assumed we were going to welcome a son. Boy, was I wrong about that one! Abi and I found out we were having a girl by biting into two tiny cupcakes on our front porch this past summer. When I saw that pink frosting my mind was absolutely blown. Elsie Jane was born on December 27th at 5:54 p.m.

My first thought on fatherhood: The importance of preparing your household for new life

I knew that preparing for the baby would bring about many changes to our house. My beloved office would now have to be converted into a nursery, relegating my desk to a tiny nook under our staircase. Baby clothes would fill the only closet in our house. Bottles would fill our cabinets. These things are all necessary. We quickly discovered that we needed to prepare for Elsie in more ways than just buying a bunch of baby stuff. We worked on our communication with each other. We worked on speaking to each other more lovingly (I needed most of the work here!) Finally, we prepared spiritually for this new life that was joining us. We buckled down on the communal prayer life of our house. This was key for us.

My second thought on fatherhood: Husbands SERVE.

When Elsie was born, I underestimated the amount of sleep we would be going without. I used to pride myself on being able to function on little sleep. Throughout my late high school and college summers I worked at a plastic factory from 5 a.m. – 4 p.m. and worked as a dishwasher from 6 p.m. – 11 p.m. during the week. I thought I was this gritty hard worker who didn’t ever need sleep, and I thought I would be able to tackle this baby thing easily. NOPE.

I found it especially hard to seize opportunities to serve with little sleep. In the beginning, it was hard to push through that wall. Thankfully, my wife has extreme levels of patience! I learned, as time went on, the tasks that I could accomplish that would help Abi and Elsie and now my days are full. I bet now that I could change a diaper blind folded! Unless it’s full.

My third thought on fatherhood: How crazy it is to hold your baby

One of the things that I knew about Abi when we were dating was that she was going to be a great mom. She is currently a 1st grade teacher and has worked at daycare centers for most of her working life. She is great with kids. I never considered myself remotely good with kids. I don’t know how to talk to them or how to play with them. When I met my godson for the first time, I tried to shake his hand! The kid was 2 months old!

When Elsie was born, Abi held her immediately and I just remember feeling so fulfilled and grateful to God for a healthy baby and a healthy mom. Then Abi went to hand her off to me and I was thinking to myself “are you sure? Did you not just watch my shaky hands take three tries to cut the umbilical cord?”

I don’t think I can really describe the feeling of holding your own baby. It sparked a joy and love in me that I have never felt before.

I have only been a dad for 3-ish months. I have so much more to learn. I still have no idea what I am doing! I am thankful that I get the chance to be around great dads that I can learn from in my family, friends, and at work.